Canadians are Freaked Out - and Furious
Annexing Canada may have started out as a joke, but Trump’s army of intellectual Zambonis have formulated his rants into an actionable ideology.
By Ryan McGreal.
510 words. Approximately a 1 to 3 minute read.
Posted March 12, 2025 in Blog.
Americans pay almost no attention to Canada because why would they? Whereas Canadians pay a lot of attention to America because we have no choice. So the information asymmetry across the world’s dumbest trade war is really stark.
Not only do most Americans not pay attention to Canada, but to put it bluntly, most Americans don’t pay attention to America, either. Americans by and large are sanguine because most of them don’t actually listen to what their president says on a daily basis.
Canadians, on the other hand, are hanging on his every word. Again, we don’t have the luxury of ignoring him, since he has the power and the temperament to upend our entire country.
To any Americans reading this: your Canadian friends are rattled. We’re anxious, scared, angry, outraged, and lowkey freaked out that your leader keeps threatening to annex us.
Maybe it started out as a joke, but Trump’s army of intellectual Zambonis have formulated his rants into an actionable ideology.
We’re also royally pissed off, and we’re goddamned determined not to give up our country.
Trump is a malignant narcissist and a megalomaniac who has surrounded himself with deranged zealots and feckless sycophants. He desperately wants to be remembered as a Great Leader who did the unthinkable, expanded American territory and changed the course of history.
That makes him extremely dangerous.
We really don’t understand why so many of you decided to hand the keys of the White House this staggeringly unfit tyrant again.
Something about the price of eggs?
When I say Canadians are pissed off, I mean it. We’re furious. We’re so angry at this brazen assault on our sovereignty that most of the profound internal conflicts that normally divide us have receded to the background so we can unite against this foreign aggression and stand together in solidarity.
From the collapse of separatist sentiment in Quebec to the unlikely redemption of (double-checks notes) former Alberta Premier Jason Kenney as Captain Canuck, Canadians are setting aside their differences to fight for our country.
We’re choosing Canadian businesses to support, boycotting US imports wherever possible and picking other places to travel.
It’s not personal. We love Americans and had no beef with America before Trump launched his campaign to destroy Canada’s economy so we give up our sovereignty.
So on behalf of Canada, let me ask our American friends: please pay attention to what the man is saying and doing. If you don’t like it, do something about it. Make some noise, pressure your elected representative, join a civic organization, speak up at a town hall, join a protest.
If he gets away with doing this to Canada, you’re next and no one is safe.
Authoritarians love a war to give them the emergency power to suspend civil liberties and engage in mass arrests.
Don’t believe it can’t happen to us or to you.
We’re going to keep fighting against Trump’s invasion, however we can and however we need. But it would be much better for the world - including America - if you can figure out how to contain his lawlessness before he does something that can’t be undone.